Moving Forward

I've always been labelled a problem child. In all honesty, it is fair. I'm nothing like everyone else in my family. From a young age, I've always seen more and understood more than most of my peers. I'm a pisces, so like most of my kin, we're very sensitive, rebellious and headstrong and at the same time very kind and forgiving. Perhaps, it's because of this that I often feel like a doormat.

Anyways, coming from a family with huge problems, there are many times where I feel inadequate, awkward, insignificant and a burden. But I just want to say, sometimes the truth is difficult to see. Every person is unique and are made differently. Some are less emotional and others more, some are talented at one thing and some are talented at several things. Some want money, others want peace. We have different value systems even if on the surface it seems the same.

The thing is, don't judge others. Try to be more accepting and kind instead of dismissive. I've made that mistake for a long time, and as a result I've developed stereotypes and prejudices that I've been steadily deconstructing in the last few years. People react differently to different stimuli. Some people, like my mother, are not good at handling any kind of intense emotion and she reacts by automatically rejecting anyone or anything that arouses strong feelings in her. It took me 20 years to figure out her cold demeanour.

At the same time, always remember that there are times when your feelings will weigh you down but know that this feeling will pass. Most importantly, never believe it. When you feel useless, don't for a moment believe it. A bad moment does not negate all the good moments. Life is precious and it is yours. Don't give it up because it is your right to live. Life can be hard and unbearable sometimes, but persevere because life is an opportunity. Whenever you feel like it, take that opportunity to turn your life around. You won't see it when your emotions blind you, so pause to breathe and when you open your eyes again, you will see it - a chance to change things.

My life has drastically changed this year. I decided to change my life. I made choices I never thought I'd make and I'm all the better for it. Make as many second chances as you need. Never give up. For the second time this year, I cut my hair and started a blog after taking a stand for myself. It is true that part of me regrets it, but if I don't make a stand, nobody is going to take me seriously.

So let's promise each other - no matter what, KEEP MOVING FORWARD. Don't look back, don't hesitate. Just move forward.

"The best lack conviction while the worst are full of passionate intensity." 

- 'Second Coming', William B. Yeats.